Her Name Was Dolores Read online

  “We have to talk about it publicly because that’s how we’re going to heal and make sure that other girls and victims in the future don’t feel like it’s their fault. I want everyone to know it’s okay to speak up. No one should tolerate such abuse, ever,” she said, tenaciously.

  What followed was a hard-fought, dire, and emotionally draining ordeal. Jen was pushed to grow thicker skin and get as tough as nails. She couldn’t afford to dwell on anything; she knew she had to press forward to find closure for her family and to get one step closer to forgiving herself for everything that had gone down. The abuse had started almost two decades earlier, and the time had come to put a lid on it and him once and for all.

  Jen met and started dating Trino in 1984. She was fifteen and he was in his twenties, and the day she lost her virginity to him, she got pregnant. Just like that. Coming from a traditional family, she did what was expected of her and moved out and in with him, got married, and took on the responsibility of wife and mother, while still trying to graduate from high school, even though he kept insisting her new role was to stay home and forget about school altogether. Then, she began to suffer domestic violence. He’d slap her around, beat her, until one day in the summer of 1992 she finally had the courage to leave him for good. By then, she already had three children with him. However, this wasn’t the end of their drama. Five years later, she found out that he had not only been beating her, but also sexually abusing her sister Rosie and her daughters, Chiquis and Jacqie. Jen was absolutely devastated. Little did she know this was to be the cross she would bear for the rest of her life, never forgiving herself for not being able to prevent and protect her sister and daughters from such trauma.

  That’s what made this trial so important to Jenni. Not only did she want closure for all of them, she also wanted to speak up publicly and try to help give other victims the courage or voice to get the help they deserved. I firmly believe that this is one of the reasons Jen became such a strong voice for Latinas. It wasn’t just about her music. It was her stance and the action she took to voice their problems and concerns and fight discrimination, abuse, and the countless other injustices these women were quietly suffering. That’s exactly why she had older Latina women who were Dominican or Cuban or Puerto Rican who couldn’t care less about banda music but were huge Jenni Rivera fans. Even though they never heard her sing, they’d heard her story on Don Fransciso or Cristina’s shows, and they could relate, together with the single mothers and those suffering abuse or betrayal. She represented them and hence became the voice for a multitude of women spanning different generations and countries. When she brought this trial to them via the media, her message was clear: it was time to stop grinning and bearing it all; it was time to speak up and break that old-school silence that was eating them up inside; it was time to seek justice.

  So, while she was touring the United States, conquering the Mexican stage, and rising to the top of the charts for the first time in her career, she scheduled all work-related meeting and events around the court dates. Whether she was traveling to Mexico or performing locally, she made sure to stop her activities just in time to attend each and every one of those dates for the following fourteen months, always with her family by her side, supporting each other every step of the way. I was there on many of these days, seeing it all unfold firsthand, and I remember finding it extremely difficult to watch Rosie, Chiquis, and Jacqie relive those painful traumas of their past. Many nights after those court dates, Jen would vent and express her concerns with me in one of our heart-to-heart talks. She was especially worried about Chiquis, who seemed to be the most affected by all of this. Jen wanted to comfort her, but found it to be extremely difficult. It was hard for Chiquis to come to terms with the fact that the man who should’ve been her healthy father figure, the one who was supposed to protect her from all harm, was the culprit of her unbearable trauma.

  By May 2007, the jury came back and gave Jenni the gift she was hoping to receive that Mother’s Day: Trino was found guilty of 6 of 9 counts of sexual assault and rape. And by June he was sentenced to thirty-one years in prison. I was in the room when the verdict was read and will never forget Trino’s reaction. His stone-cold face revealed absolutely no emotion or remorse. Nothing. It was incredibly chilling. Meanwhile, on the Riveras side of the court, their eyes welled up with relief, and Jenni finally broke down and let the tears stream freely down her cheeks. She had spent the last fourteen months as her family’s pillar of strength, absorbing all the blows and criticisms, steadfast and with her eye on the end goal: putting this monster in jail. Nothing would make this mother hen back down, she had charged ahead at full force, and was now finally receiving the closure she and her girls deserved.

  The trial most definitely brought a concrete end to this hellish period in their lives, but its aftermath had long-lasting effects on all of them. Jacqie kept asking why he’d done such a thing. She was too young to remember the abuse she suffered, but she still wanted to make sense of it all. Meanwhile, Chiquis yearned to be able to forgive him. She hoped to have the chance to visit him one day, have an open and honest talk, and finally say to his face, “I forgive you.” However, she also felt conflicted, even more so with her father’s reaction, as well as how his family handled the entire situation. They never stopped calling her and Jen and Rosie liars, accusing them of making all of it up to screw Trino over. It was debilitating to the soul, to say the least.

  However, there was also an unexpected silver lining after the trial: more victims gathered the courage to come forward. It started with other Marín family members speaking out against Trino and how they too had suffered through his abuse. And then came an outpouring of letters from people who, after seeing the trial in the media, had felt compelled to share their stories of abuse and rape, some even begging for help. It was painful, eye-opening, and somehow comforting to finally have it all out in the open and realize that they were not alone.

  Love Can’t Conquer All

  Meanwhile, life continued to unfold, and as Jen dealt with this tormenting sequence of events in 2006, she managed to accomplish yet another dream: she was finally booked to play the Gibson Theater on August 5, 2006, and performed to a sold-out crowd. Despite having worked tirelessly to achieve this dream, she was still incredulous that so many people continued to turn up to see this girl from Long Beach do her thing on stage. She was absolutely over the moon with joy. But success was always somehow bittersweet for Jen. Aside from the ongoing, gut-wrenching trial, Jen’s love life was also coming undone.

  Jen and Fernando had been in an “on again off again” relationship for the past three years. It was tumultuous at times, but their love for each other always seemed to win the day, until the summer of 2006. That was the first time they left each other for such a long time, taking a six-month breather to figure out what they wanted and how to best approach their situations. The timing couldn’t have been worse for Jen. She would’ve loved to have her soul mate by her side to celebrate her triumphs and support her through her tribulations. At long last, as 2006 came to a close, Jen caved and reached out to Ferni for support, in hopes of getting back together, never imagining she’d find such a changed man in his place.

  Fernando is a great guy, but back then he was challenged by the battle of addiction. Jenni knew this and stood by him, always offering to take care of him, but he had pride. In all the time they were together, Ferni never depended on Jenni and he wasn’t about to start now. He always tried to figure out a way; however, when it comes to heavy drugs, sometimes you just can’t go at it alone.

  We all have demons that we want to outrun when we should be facing them, and I think Fernando’s drug addiction was basically an escape from his insecurities and a way of decompressing from the stresses of life. When Jen met him he was already smoking weed, and as the years passed, his addictions got worse, moving on to heavier drugs, which started messing with his personality and their relationship. Nevertheless, even if they were on one of their
infamous breaks, Jen was always there for him, always a phone call away. If his mom called asking her for help, she would jump in her car and go pick him up and bring him home or take him to rehab. She never sent anyone; she did it herself. And she’d go to the projects where they lived and check up on him in the following days to make sure he was doing okay.

  However, when she reached out to him at the end of 2006 and they tried to give their relationship another shot, Jen quickly realized that his latest addiction now involved crystal meth. Talk about a whole other ball game, totally out of Jen’s or anyone’s league. He’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming, paranoid, thinking that she wanted to kill him, hallucinating and saying that he knew she had called her brothers and asked them to kill him. Jen would tenderly and patiently calm him down and explain that he was having a night terror and that everything was okay, that no one was trying to kill him, and that he should try to get some rest. Seeing him like this was heartbreaking for Jen. All she ever wanted was someone to take care of her and make her feel safe, and she had honestly thought that Fernando would be that person. She was tired of being the one who took care of her men, the one they depended on; it was a role she no longer wanted to play in her relationships. This was one of the reasons her relationship with Fernando had become so volatile. Deep down she knew that his addictions hindered him, and that wasn’t the type of man she wanted her kids to grow up with as a role model. He had so many amazing qualities, ones that made her feel whole and happy and understood, but this issue was too big to ignore.

  Imagine finally finding your soul mate only to discover you won’t be able to be with him? A telenovela has nothing on this story. Fernando was the love of Jen’s life, the man of her dreams in so many ways, her musical muse, her best friend, but she finally came to terms with the fact that she had to call it quits with him for good. The crystal meth addiction was uncontrollable. He needed professional help, but it wouldn’t work unless he made that decision for himself, and staying by his side and coddling him would only be a detriment to his recovery. So, by early 2007, Jen made one of the hardest decisions of her life: she left Fernando for good. No more back and forth, no more on again and off again, it was done. She did this to protect herself, to protect her children, and, ultimately, to protect him. If his loved ones hadn’t had the strength to back off and let him hit rock bottom, he probably wouldn’t be around today.

  Ending their romantic relationship was heart-wrenching, but their bond was too strong to cut all ties completely, so they managed to remain friends. If Fernando was in trouble, Jen was the one bailing him out of jail. She put him in rehab numerous times; she put all her resources at his disposal in hopes that he would get better. He was a good guy with a good heart and Jen knew it. That’s why, even though she had to give up on their love, she refused to give up on him.

  So, as 2007 unfolded, Jen not only had to break it off with her soul mate, she had to sit back and watch him unravel before her eyes until he ultimately decided to take matters into his own hands and seek professional help. Meanwhile, Trino was found guilty and sentenced to thirty-one years in jail, which brought some relief to her inner turmoil; however, just when the dust seemed to be settling, her ex-husband Juan Lopez was caught drug trafficking and in October 2007 was sentenced to ten years in prison. Yet somehow, throughout this roller coaster ride that drove Jenni to the top in her professional life only to bring her racing down on a personal level, she continued to hold her head high and charge forward. She was the definition of resilience, and I know she couldn’t have done it without her faith; her children, who were her reason for living; and her work. As life continued to hit her with one-two punches, she managed to bob and weave, and come back stronger, making a name for herself, rising to the top, and letting her entrepreneurial spirit soar.

  Chapter 7

  Bossing It Up! A Business Magnate in the Making

  No matter what Jen had going on in her personal life, her entrepreneurial spirit never slept. When things got hard on a personal level, her work became her safe haven, a place where she felt she had everything under control, with a group of people she knew she could rely on. Here she could breathe, forget about what was troubling her at the time, and focus on her passion: making shit happen. From the start of her life, Jen saw her parents tirelessly working and was inspired by her dad’s steadfast work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit. When she hit her early teens, she started hustling with her father and brothers, selling cassettes and CDs at the local swap meet and hawking event-specific merchandise when the opportunity presented itself, such as the 1984 Olympics or during the Menudo craze, where she made buttons and sold them to her junior high classmates. Little did she know all this training would serve a purpose later in her career.

  As the years went by, her hard-knock life made the hustler in Jen thrive, and when she finally decided to give her music career a real shot, she channeled all this energy and experience into her newfound path, eventually mastering the art of selling herself as a brand. She started small and worked her way up, from concert merchandising and her own cosmetics line to reality TV and her own radio show. There was no stopping Jen; she poured herself into her work, constantly creating, coming up with new business ideas, eager to see them through, a real business magnate in the making.

  Every successful person has a backstory that fuels their goals and ambitions. Her number one incentive was her children, but the real fire that kept her burning the midnight oil was the fear of falling below the poverty line again. The dread of reliving that day-to-day uncertainty, wondering if the welfare check will be enough to pay the rent and put food on the table, kept Jenni going till the day she passed away. She never wanted to subject any of her children to those dire circumstances again. Those living conditions were a thing of the past, and she worked hard to make sure they stayed there.

  Jen’s drive was so forceful that I couldn’t even keep up with her at times, and I consider myself a full-on workaholic. This woman really never stopped, so much so that eventually the word exhaustion in my vocabulary was replaced with aguantar, to endure, because that was the only way I could stay on track with Jen’s pace. I’m talking about a woman who woke up at the crack of dawn and went to bed past midnight, taking care of her family and working nonstop with only a four- to six-hour break at night for some shut-eye.

  A typical day in the life of Jen when she wasn’t on tour started at 5:00 a.m. She kicked it off with some devotional time reading passages from the Bible, then squeezed in her workout, and later headed over to the kitchen to make breakfast for her kids. By 7:00 a.m. on the dot, without missing a beat, I would get a message from her, ready to start the workday full speed ahead. I always thought that she partly wanted to make sure I was awake and ready to go, ’cause once she got started there was no stopping her. That first message or BBM—back then we both had Blackberrys—varied from either a simple “Good morning” to an outline of what we had in store for the day. The only reason I didn’t receive this morning greeting was if she was on tour and in flight, because she would even text me from Mexico—and weekends weren’t an exception either.

  By the time regular work hours were underway, Jen had already taken her kids to school and answered all her e-mails. As the day progressed, if I wasn’t by her side, we would touch base at least ten times a day, while she followed up on pending issues, made phone calls, headed over to interviews, meetings, whatever needed to be done to continue developing and promoting her career. And yeah, she was known for being late, but she always made it. She could’ve used the single mother card and countless other excuses to cancel meetings or interviews or events, but she had her priorities straight. These were her obligations, it was what helped her put food on the table, so backing out was out of the question. That’s what made her a hustler before anything else.

  She dove in so deep that there was never a clear end to her workday, sometimes not even making it home till 11:00 p.m., but that didn’t stop her from keeping up with her m
otherly duties too. Jen would check up on her children throughout the day, and relished every second she spent with them, be it in the morning when she made breakfast for them and drove them to school, or in the evening when she shared some precious time with them before saying good night. Now, just because she tucked them in didn’t mean that she’d call it a day for herself too. Her nights had no set routine. It wasn’t like she would put her phone aside and stop working. Sometimes she’d shoot out messages to me at one, two, or three in the morning. Her mind just never seemed to shut down. As she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, urging herself to disconnect and fall asleep, that’s when her creativity would reach its peak. I would get the most random texts in the middle of the night with an idea she didn’t want to forget, or something she wanted my feedback on, or a reminder of what we needed to get done the following day. When her eyes finally felt somewhat heavy, she’d place her phone on her nightstand and sleep, only to be up and at ’em all over again the following morning at 5:00 a.m. sharp.

  That was Jen, a workhorse with a creative and entrepreneurial mind that was constantly thinking up new projects and business ventures. It was unbelievable. She was always doodling in her old-school planner, writing notes about her life, jotting down ideas, drawing jeans and dresses for her future apparel line, always in production mode, not only creating but also trying to figure out how to bring these ideas to life. It was such a part of her essence that she didn’t know how to turn it off. Even on vacation, she’d continuously drum up new ventures, never disconnecting completely or taking a real break from it all. At times this became a liability because she would run herself into the ground with this nonstop approach to life and work, but she felt the need to be hands on with everything she set out to accomplish.